Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Ever hear of recycling?

Generally I am a pretty laid back guy. As you get older you realize that some things are just not worth getting all worked up over. So when faced with some kind of drama or weird situation, I try to not let it upset me or cause me stress. But while at the garage sales this past Saturday, I was witness to something so personally outrageous and egregious, that I threw out my "serenity now" persona and popped off on another guy at a garage sale. Boy, he won't forget that morning anytime soon!

It all began at a big neighborhood community yard sale. Things were going well for me, I found some great kid's toys and chatted up some friends who live in the neighborhood. Moving along, I parked near a house I 've been to in past yard sales. I almost passed it up based on the "They always sell, so they probably don't have anything good" theory. But I stopped anyway , figuring it was worth a quick look. Turns out I was right, nothing there...so I turned around and headed back to my truck. I was about 20 feet away from my truckster when I noticed an older, heavy-set guy walking past the back corner of my truck. He had just finished the last gulp of his water bottle when he did the unthinkable. The guy very casually dropped his empty plastic bottle into the bed of my truck, then kept walking to his wife's waiting car!

In case you didn't know, I am sort of attached to my truck. You may have heard of that song by country singer Toby Keith where he sings, "I like my girlfriend, I like my truck...but I LOVE this bar." Well for me it's more like, "I like my girlfriend, I like this bar... but I LOVE my truck!" I mean seriously, this guy was only ten feet away from his own car which I am assuming had a small trash can in it. (Because don't most civilized people keep some form of a trash can in their vehicle? I sure do...it's neatly placed just below the stick shift.) But Nooooo, not this guy. He had to dump his trash in my truck! I was seeing red and was all like, "Oh, no you did-int!" Springing into action, I grabbed the guy's attention with a big angry, " YO!!!!" The guy looked over at me, probably instantly regretting his method of trash disposal. I then threw my arms high in the air above my head with palms up. This is universally recognized body language for, "Are you crazy...what the h#@l are you doing?!" Stomping towards the guy with my arms still up in the air, I yelled further, " Yo buddy, you're kidding me right? Are you for real? "

The guy had a stunned look on his face. He thought he was being slick but instead just got busted! Adding to his embarrassment, other people were now turning around and watching my little show. The litterbug continued to slink towards his wife's car looking to make a hasty retreat. I approached the back of my truck and looked in to verify what I had just witnessed. (All the while thinking to myself: if there's no water bottle in here I am going to look like the biggest idiot.) But sure enough, the offending evidence was laying in the back of my poor innocent truck. Embarrassed that he had just been caught, the guy sheepishly offered up a lame defense, " It's just an empty water bottle." I angrily shot back, " My truck isn't your personal trash can!" I retrieved the plastic bottle from the back of my truck and briefly thought about spiking the bottle in the street for dramatic effect. But I wasn't sure if he would actually bend over to pick it up, so I settled on holding the bottle out in his general direction. He meekly accepted the bottle and quickly jumped into the passenger side of his wife' car. I stared him down as they drove away. To add to his public humiliation his wife began yelling at him. I thought it would be fun to give the litterbug the "evil eye" if I spotted him at any further garage sales, but his wife wisely hustled him out of the neighborhood. I hoped that she continued to beat his ear all the way home...just desserts for his obnoxious actions!

It all made for an interesting Saturday morning at the garage sales. I defended the honor of my truck and gave an inconsiderate litterbug a lesson he won't soon forget! Oh, and I picked up some great garage sale deals too.....now that's what I call a good day!

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8 comments:

  1. I LOVE that you did this. WTG standing up for you and your truck!!!!! People can sure be inconsiderate and I doubt this guy will ever forget that lesson!

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  2. Awesome! Enjoyed reading your post. :)

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  3. Boy, did this bring back a favorite memory! My freshman year in college I went canoeing with some friends on a local lake. As we paddled along we were outraged to see a dad teaching his kid to throw their trash into the water as they fished. We paddled over there as fast as we could, fished out the cans and plastic bags, then paddled close enough to throw the stuff back at them. I hope they thought the whole lake was patrolled by young women in canoes who wouldn't let them get away with anything!

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  4. I gotta say it's not the first time I found mysterious trash in the back of my truck that I did'nt put there. But it was the first time I caught someone red handed doing it!

    It's amazing how some folks can act isn't it? Thanks all !

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  5. Okay..this was only funny because it wasn't me. It doesn't surprise me though..people are rude and if they have kids..I'm sure they act the same way. Good for you for calling him out!

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  6. lol - I just found your blog. I started at the top and assumed you were a girl until I got to this post where you called yourself a "laid back guy"! Anyway - great story!

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  7. Jessica- Yeah, the dude is a dude! If you keep reading, check out the humiliation I put myself through when buying Barbies. But it was worth it in the end!

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  8. ha! I do see the "by Dude!" part now :)
    I read your Barbie blog. Very funny! I've enjoyed what I've read of your blog so far. You've got some great stories! Keep 'em coming :)

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